Welcoming New Authors And Asking For Your Demos

First of all, I would like to welcome FaultyClockwork and Nihilistic Rust to The Curse. Faulty already introduced herself, so you know what she is about: Blackened noise-y shit that will never get her a husband and kids. Something tells me neither fact bothers her in the slightest. She has some of the best taste in music that I know, so I have no doubt she will be reviewing some trve kvlt shit for da blog.

Then we have Nihilistic Rust... who I really don't know anything about. Good person(unsure of gender) with great taste in shitty underground hipster metal like me, so that's all I really need to know. Already wrote an excellent Asphyx review, so check it out.

Also, if you are in a band and would like your demo material reviewed, or represent a record label and would like any of our writers to review your upcoming releases, please contact me through the Curse's new e-mail in the upper corner. A Facebook page is also forthcoming, so that should be a total disaster...

I'm really super positive, and I want all you cool underground musicians to like me. So chances are I will give you a good review. The blog has been really positive lately... lots of high scores. I can't help it though, for cynicism and nostalgia have not fried my brain and prevented me from liking anything just yet. Soon I imagine. But not today.

Cheers,
Sharpy

Asphyx - Deathhammer(2012)

Asphyx- Deathhammer

Asphyx's new album, Deathhammer, is like a sledgehammer to the teeth, from the beginning to the end. From its apt cover art, where some heavily wounded and torn bloke unleashes Lovecraftain abominations and spirits to feast on our world, to the final track, that slowly burns you in scorching volcano-spit. Every song simply grabs you by your spine from the front and bashes you in rugged concrete until every bone is shattered and every organ is burst.

As soon as you enter the cruel timewastes, cryptic beasts introduce your face to a skull- splitting mace and a stampede greets every fiber of your being. Fast paced death metal supremacy fucks you into dust. Deathhammer(itallics needed) brings forth thrashy death riffs that maul you into submission, piss on you, and then bury you alive in some doomy moments. And then, you step onto a minefield. An epic sludge dirge that truly shows the opening of this unholy chasm of explosive rancor. A brilliant guitar tone that takes your feeble corpse and places it on the table of a sadistic killer, that slowly disembowels you while peeling off your flesh, with morbidity sparkling in his eyes. His blade eventually turns blunt, and he starts hitting your head with some more fast and typical death-doom madness.

"Der Landser" is another "dirge," remindful of that minefield. The brute stomps on you like a cockroach and then the flood fills every orifice you have with thick, sludgy filth. "We Doom You to Death" is probably the second best song on this album, that heavily reminds me of Last One on Earth. It has one or two basic riffs, but they're executed perfectly along the heavy drums and the raspy vocals. "Vespa Crabro" is a small stop before you face the igneous gem of the album: "As the Magma Mammoth Rises." A behemoth whose skin is made of perdition, his eyes ablaze and his breath fire. Hurling fireballs at your feeble form, it's truly the highlight of the album. It combines all the good stuff of this album; the thrash, the doom, and the death, and together cements it into a colossal beast that burns and annihilates everything with brutality.

In a non-metaphoric way, this album is genius. Combining excellent riffs and licks of Baayens with Bagchus' excellent simplistic (but powerful) drumming, Zuur's dense auricular "basscraft," and of course, Van Drunen's tortured and guttural voice is as memorable as it gets, this album is a death/doom masterpiece. The only flaw in this album is that it gets somewhat repetitive at times, but this is fucking Asphyx. That's part of the charm. It is a brilliant release and if you like your ears getting crushed by sonic artillery, this is your perfect place to be shelled into oblivion.

8.5/10